One less corpse

As the moon has unveiled itself in the dark,
All her demons have resumed the slow dance,
With more alcohol than blood in her veins,
She sees her dead dreams wandering in the room,
The dreams she choked with her bare hands,
For the sake of those who abandoned, long gone,
A gunshot and the last stitch to eternal silence,
Suddenly the air turned less stifle, less heavy than before,
As though heaved a sigh of relief,
That there will be one less corpse straying around.

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Surrender

For ages, I have been casting spells to bring back the long-lost sun
I chew off my new skin every time to help escape the sadness that clings
Those people, they tell me to let it out, express that invisible turmoil
So in the attempt of imitating my mind, I scream and scream until I lose my voice
But nothing survives the silence that prevails, devouring everything within
Back then I used to trick myself pretending dead to attain a temporary suspension of pain
Other times I amputate my limbs and pull out all my hair from my scalp
Everything feels the same to my rotten self living through the curse of being alive
And now when the eternal damnation is certain, I have stopped igniting lanterns of hope
I surrender with my arms stretched wide, surrendering my all to the dark side

Lost self

I don’t remember when I shred the thread connecting my soul to my flesh
A black shroud always hangs between me and the sky
And all I can hear are the colliding echoes of my sins and prayers
Blind to my coarse heart, I stay there happy in the hoax of life
My eyes are swollen with trying to see myself beyond the reflection of mirrors
And my brain now stays bloated with toxic questions
I breathe and breathe but nothing helps to breathe back life once died in me
Nothing permeates my parched skin except sadness
And my soul now smiles quietly in a corner saying”What became of you my lost wanderer?”
My tattered faith sways from place to place in hope to come across myself which was once lost
Perhaps I already know where to find redemption
I whine and whine but it is in vain when my cowardice chooses to turn deaf every time

Forgive yourself

From throbbing guilt and toxic memories hanging in the air,
A stale whiff of despair starts swirling around you,
Breathing in that bitterness, your lungs get shrunk,
And your mind suffocates under the spell of tormented thoughts,
Like an autumn leaf, your heart withered and parched,
With a lot of dull greys and browns on your life’s canvas,
You draped your weary soul in grief and sadness,
Battering the old wounds never helps to redeem a living-dead,
And you can’t live with worms of regret gnawing in your chest,
Since ages, your soul screeches and pleads for forgiveness,
So allow the sunshine to dribble warmth on your frozen crimson,
And once again let the life flow smoothly through your existence.

Peace in war

The weight of her emptiness made her fall into the abyss
Concrete walls rushing close, her heart getting shoved against her ribs
And her demons started whirling across her mind
She has banished herself from drowning in thoughts
But not now, nothing in this ephemeral world makes sense at all
Her soul aches beneath the armour of lies
The shelter of self-betrayal has split asunder
No solace comes with escapes anymore
The veil of ignorance has now torn apart
And the melancholic sombre has consumed her world
So now she wants the scorching sun to burn off her skin
Swelter residing in bones, to incinerate her to ashes
Tides of emotion to strike hard, leaving her existence breathless
The dagger of thoughts to stab her brain persistently
With continuous resonance taking hold over her senses
The soul being lashed with haunted past
A never-ending battle between mind and heart
Beseeching for help, some days her soul urges salvation
But then she wants it like that, the agonizing pain
For she has now found her peace in that war

Playing pretend

Gloom filled clouds and pewter sky
Igniting fire, consuming your inside
The dark obscurity, surrounding you
Deafening noises above in your head
Piles and piles of sorrow and remorse
Some days it even gets hard to walk
Drought in the soul sucks you dry
And you don’t know what your heart pines for
So you let that invincible pain sink in your bones
But the other day it all fades, all gone
Rattling in your mind can be ignorable
You feel your heart a bit less exhausted
You see a lot of people smiling around
And you wonder how many of them are playing pretend too
So you smile and smile with all of them
A cloak of happiness over dwelling distress
It is a little less burden to be alive until it’s the time
When it gets hard to survive all over again

Dead emotions

If only she could get rid of that skin
Every inch of her body under his fingerprints
Unexpressed emotions he used to trace on her flesh
All those emotions are now dead
And her whole existence turning to a carcass
With the stink that became unbearable
So the remaining emotions happy, alive or sad
All are now departed one by one
And no avulsion can even help
A diseased and devasted soul of her